Divorce, Child Custody Battles, and the Seal Beach, California Shooting Incident

At the time of this posting, while the reported details are still sketchy, it appears, based upon various news reports, that the tragic shooting and killing of eight people by a lone gunman at a Seal Beach, California beauty salon, Salon Meritage, may have been related to a child custody battle.  In short, based upon initial reports, it appears that a 42 year-old man, Scott DeKraai, who was arrested by police less than a mile away from the salon, had reportedly been engaged in a bitter child custody battle with a salon employee over their son.

Look, no one know if the initial news reports are true.  And naturally, no one should contest the fact that Mr. DeKraai is entitled to his fair day in court.  But it is also true, as this tragic incident may illustrate, and as every divorce lawyer knows, child custody battles can sometimes get ugly -- really ugly.  And sometimes, sadly, child custody disputes lead to violence.

Are there any solutions?  Perhaps we can consider that topic on another day.  But today, our thoughts and prayers go out to each of the victims of this tragedy and to each of their families.

Celebrity Divorces and Separations: James Marsden and Lisa Linde

[Photo of James Marsden from wikipedia]

Well, it appears that another Hollywood marriage has bitten the dust.  According to various news reports, Lisa Linde, the spouse of actor James Marsden since 2000, filed for divorce last week from the popular actor and star of Straw  Dogs and the X-Men films.  The couple have two children.  Ms. Linde is the daughter of famous country music singer Dennis Linde.

According to a representative for the couple, while the marriage may be broken, the couple will remain "good friends."  That statement sounds good, doesn't it?  But is it really true? 

Hopefully, they will, in fact, remain "good friends."  Don't you agree that it is possible for a divorcing couple, at a minimum, to at least mildly tolerate each other, for the sake of their children?

Celebrity Separations and Divorces: Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher

[Photo from Wikipedia]

I am sorry I have been away from the blogging world for the past week!  As an Augusta, Georgia divorce lawyer, (who also handles personal injury, criminal defense, and countless other legal matters), I have really been busy! I feel like I have been jumpin' and steppin' on alligators all week -- with both feet!  But it's nice to be back to blogging!

Have you heard the news reports about an alleged potential split between Hollywood actors Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore?  You will have to read elsewhere about all the sordid allegations -- including allegations of adultery.  In fairness, probably no one in the entertainment media really knows the truth about such allegations.  But smut --whether true or not -- sells rags, doesn't it?  However, in any event, such smutty allegations are not the point of this post, anyway. 

The point of this post is that, as the Moore-Kutcher marriage has clearly demonstrated, (at least, until now), marriages between older women and younger men can, and do, work.  As you may know, Ms. Moore is 48; Ashton Kutcher, the new star of Two and a Half Men, is only 33.  They have been married for 6 years.  So, no matter what happens between them now, don't you agree that this case shows that such marriages can work?  Put another way, does age really matter?  Do May-December romances really work?  What is your opinion?

Okay, now I must put back on my divorce attorney hat and commence steppin' on alligator heads again!

A Divorce Lawyer's Take on "Do It Yourself Divorce" Kits

[Photo from apartmenttherapy.com]

Everybody is into DIY (do-it-yourself) projects these days!  I love to refinish antique furniture!  But please let me explain why I believe DIY kits may not be the best way to go when you get a divorce in Georgia.

Okay, I realize that before I offer this critique of  DIY divorces and divorce kits, some of you may think it is just sour grapes offered by a greedy divorce attorney!  In other words, you may think I am just another divorce lawyer who doesn't appreciate the competition!  But please believe me that that is not the case!  I simply do not recommend that anyone should attempt to handle such an important, complicated legal matter without help from a professional.

For instance, in many divorce cases, both contested and uncontested divorces, there are generally a number of relatively complicated issues, such as child custody and child support.  For example, no kit is likely going to tell you all the proper factors in calculating child support under the Georgia child support guidelines.  Also, there are a number of requirements for a Georgia divorce which, in our experience, the so-called DIY divorce kits typically do not meet or satisfy.  For example, no kit is going to tell you that, in a Columbia County divorce, you will need to submit a properly filled out summons, even in an uncontested divorce.

Finally, there is one additional reason why I believe DIY kits are not the best way to get a divorce in Georgia.  This reason is that there are a number of divorce lawyers, including us, at the Goolsby Law Firm, LLC, who will handle simple, uncontested divorces for an affordable retainer that does not cost a lot more than many of the DIY kits!

So, have I convinced you that a do-it-yourself divorce is not the best way to go?  Save your creativity for your home repair projects! 

Celebrity Divorces: Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz

[Photo of Lucille Ball and Vivian Vance from Wikipedia]

Have you heard?  Tomorrow, August 6, 2011, would have been the 100th birthday of talented actress and business mogul Lucille Ball!  Sadly, Ms. Ball, one of my favoriote comedians, died of an aneurysm back in 1989. 

I won't bore you with a lot of facts about her incredible life and Hollywood career.  But did you know that her original television series, I Love Lucy, aired 180 episodes between 1951 and 1957?  Did you also know that Ms. Ball and her first husband, (and co-star), Desi Arnaz, were married in 1940 and divorced in 1960?  Ms. Ball later married a comic/businessman, Gary Morton, with whom she lived at the time of her death.

Most of you probably know that Ms. Ball was a trail blazer as a television business woman and founder of Desilu film production company.  But did you know that, early in her career, Lucy starred in different films with both the Three Stooges and the Marx Brothers?  

However, that's enough, today, of the facts about the stellar career of Lucille Ball. Today, I mainly just want to say: thank you, "Happy Birthday," and "I Love Lucy!"

Surprising Celebrity Separations and Divorce: Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony

[Photo of Lopez and Anthony from Wikipedia]

Have you seen the latest edition of Vanity Fair?  According to various news reports, talented singer and American Idol Judge Jennifer Lopez explains in Vanity Fair exactly why she and her husband of 7 years, Marc Anthony, recently split up.  Among other reported reasons, Ms. Lopez indicated essentially that she realized she wasn't being treated properly and that she loved herself too much not to walk away.

What is your opinion of these cited reasons for this celebrity split?  Also, have you noticed a trend these days that, after a separation or a divorce, many celebrities ultimately "go public" about the splitup, either in interviews, with celebrity interviewers like Oprah, or in "tell-all" books or magazines?

What do you think about this practice of celebrities "going public," rather than keeping such matters private?  Of course, in their defense, because they are in the public eye, many celebrities probably realize that if they don't tell their side of it, then somebody else will gossip about it, or make up something anyway!  So, perhaps celebrities might as well tell the truth and hope it slows down the rumor mills and "inquiring minds."  What do you think?

IRS Announces New Innocent (Or Injured) Spouse Relief Policy

[Photo from Wikipedia]

We are divorce lawyers, not tax lawyers, in Augusta, Georgia.  However, we wanted to pass along to you, (for you to discuss with your own attorney), some information issued by the I.R.S. this week concerning "innocent spouse relief."  This refers to the fairly common situation in which a divorcing spouse, even after they have gotten a divorce from their worthless spouse, "Sluggo," gets zapped by the I.R.S. for back taxes and penalties on income earned, but not reported, by Sluggo.  According to the policy, in some cases, the I.R.S. will not hold the innocent spouse responsible for Sluggo's problems, provided the innocent spouse did not know, nor could have known, about the tax understatement by their ex.

The problem, in the past, for some innocent spouses, has been that there was a two year time limit in which to seek relief based upon this equitable ground.  But now, thankfully, according to I.R.S. notice 2011-70, the two year time limit may be waived!  You can learn more about this policy change by going to http://www.irs.gov/ or by consulting with a tax professional. 

Again, we are just Augusta, GA divorce attorneys, not tax lawyers!

Movies About Divorce: Crazy, Stupid, Love

[Photo from Wikipedia]

Are you a fan of The Office's former star, Steve Carell?  If so, you may want to check out his new movie about divorce and the single life, called Crazy, Stupid Love.  The movie opens in most places next weekend.

In the movie, according to Wikipedia, Carell plays a guy who is shocked to learn that his wife, played by talented actress Julianne Moore, wants a divorce.  Ill-equipped for his new singles lifestyle, he reportedly becomes "wingman" to a cool "player," played by actor Ryan Gosling.

Can we be honest here?  Frankly, I am not a big fan of The Office.  But this new movie, which has some fine actors in it, appears to hold promise for a few laughs about an otherwise unfunny topic!

What do you think?  What are some of your favorite movies about divorce?

Shocking Celebrity Separations and Divorces: Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony

[Photo from Wikipedia]

This past week, according to news reports, singer, actress, and American Idol Judge, Jennifer Lopez, and her husband, singer Marc Anthony, have reportedly separated.  Lopez and Anthony, who have been married for seven years, have two children.

Did you know about the amazing charitable work done by Ms. Lopez?  For instance, she is noted for her fine work on behalf of the Children's Hospital Los Angeles.

Hollywood has apparently taken its toll again on another celebrity marriage.  Here's hoping that Ms. Lopez and Mr. Anthony will find happiness again.

Divorce, Family Violence, and Bobbitizing It

Family, or domestic, violence is a real problem in this country.  Far too many women, (and some men), suffer immeasurably at the hands of abusive spouses.  As a result, in my opinion, getting a divorce should not be so costly, or difficult, that a spousal abuse victim will feel forced to take the law into their own hands.    

For instance, do you recall the strange 1993 case of John and Lorena Bobbitt?  According to reports, Ms. Bobbitt, after allegedly suffering for years as a victim of abuse and adultery, struck back by cutting off Mr. Bobbitt's penis, which was later re-attached by surgeons.  As you will recall, Lorena Bobbitt was prosecuted, but later obtained a verdict of not guilty by reason of insanity.  The couple subsequently divorced.

Now, this week, according to news reports, another woman, Ms. Catherine Kieu, of Garden Grove, California, has been charged with torture and aggravated mayhem, after allegedly tying down her estranged husband in a bed and cutting off his member with a kitchen knife.  Unlike Ms. Bobbitt, who merely threw away the detached member, which was recovered and re-attached, Ms. Kieu allegedly tossed her spouse's penis down the garbage disposal and flipped the switch.  The news reports are unclear as to what, if anything, could be re-attached.

Again, these cases illustrate some of the problems of family violence.  Such cases also demonstrate that further violence, or going to prison, is not the answer.  Seeing a divorce lawyer and getting a divorce is a better solution.  Don't you agree?  What is your opinion?

GPS Devices and Tracking a Spouse To Prove Adultery

[Photo from shop.geocaching.com]

Do you suspect that your worthless spouse, "Sluggo," is cheating on you?  But are you unsure how to prove his adultery, or infidelity?  Well, did you hear the news this week out of New Jersey?  According to various news reports, a New Jersey court held this week that a divorcing party who hired a private investigator who helped her prove her spouse's adultery, by placing a GPS tracking device in her alleged cheating spouse's car, did not violate the alleged cheater's privacy rights.

Of course, as Augusta, Georgia divorce attorneys, we strongly recommend that you consult with your own divorce lawyer concerning all your rights and options BEFORE you attempt to prove adultery in this manner!  Privacy and search and seizure laws vary from state to state.  Additionally, as we have also discussed before in this divorce blog, you could get into trouble if you try some questionable tactics.  For example, we have discussed before the trouble which people can get into for hacking into their spouse's emails.

The bottom line:  As television host Nick Cannon warns on America's Got Talent, "PLEASE DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!"  More specifically, do not try any method of proving Sluggo's infidelity without first consulting with your divorce lawyer about it!

Favorite Movies About Divorce: Just Go With It

[Photo from Wikipedia]

Just Go With It is one of my new favorite movies about divorce.  The movie stars Adam Sandler, as a plastic surgeon, who pretends to be going through a divorce, in order to attract a young woman. The movie also stars Jennifer Aniston, who, along with her kids, is enticed by Sandler's character to help him convince the young girl friend that the divorce is amicable.  Aniston's character, a single mom, has already been through a divorce.

Trust me!  "Just go with it" and give this hilarious, well-acted movie a try!

How Much Do Uncontested Divorces Cost in Georgia?

Okay, maybe it is time that I got back up on my soapbox to protest, once again, the Georgia General Assembly's increase last year in the amount for filing for a divorce in this state.  (This terrible filing fee increase also applied to filing other types of civil lawsuits, too).  Specifically, the increase in the divorce case court filing fee jumped from $80.00 to a whopping $205.00!  Isn't that awful?

As Augusta, Georgia divorce attorneys, we try very hard to help our divorcing clients through a difficult time.  We have also helped many people, as divorce lawyers, by working hard to keep our legal fees affordable.  But we cannot change or help with the filing fees!  This significant increase in the court costs for a divorce has made it even more difficult for many Georgians seeking one.  Wouldn't it also be a terrible injustice if an abused wife must stay married, (and continue to get abused), simply because she cannot afford to get a divorce?  It happens!

Something must be done to correct this injustice!  Until that day comes, you can count on me to continue to climb back up on my soapbox to protest here!

Fathers and Child Support Obligations

[Photo from mtephraimschools.org]

As Augusta, Georgia divorce lawyers, we often help our clients address issues involving child support, including contempt and child support modification actions.  After all, not all fathers pay child support like they should.  But as we approach Father's Day, perhaps it is important to recognize that most dads "out there," following a divorce, actually support their children, as they should, financially and otherwise.  The "deadbeat dads" exist, but, fortunately, they are in a minority. 

Indeed, according to one source, http://fathersrights.org/, 79.1% of fathers having limited visitation rights pay their court-ordered child support and 44.5% of those fathers having no visitation rights at all nonetheless still pay child support.

Of course, no one is suggesting that, simply because they pay child support, those fathers, (or any non-custodial parents), deserve any special reward.  After all, those dads helped bring these kids into the world, too, and it is their legal and moral obligation to help support their children.  Also, I'll bet that most of us would agree that the true "deadbeat dads" should be severely sanctioned.  But sometimes, I believe it is also important to keep things in perspective, including the point that most non-custodial parents "out there" are, in fact, supporting their kids and doing the right thing!   What do you think?

Celebrity Divorces and Separations: Schwarzenegger and Shriver

[Photo from Wikipedia]

Just when we thought the Arnold Schwarzenegger adultery and separation saga had exhausted all its twists and turns, now, we hear reports that the former governor's housekeeper has agreed to an interview and reportedly discussed details of their relationship with the media.  The housekeeper, identified in various reports as Patricia Baena, has even described how she allegedly broke the news of the affair to Maria Shriver.  Also, photographs of the alleged love child are now reportedly circulating throughout the news media and internet.  Where and when will it all end?

Doesn't it sometimes seem to you that news stories, like this one, and like the story involving Congressman Anthony Weiner, often develop a life of their own?  And it appears that some in the news media keep fanning the flames.  In other words, doesn't it appear that the news media will sometimes keep such salacious news stories alive with a constant daily drip of "new" information, so that they can simply sell more rags and generate high ratings?

The media frenzy also makes it much more difficult for celebrities than others who go through separation and divorce.  Don't you agree?  

Divorce Practical Tips: Will I Have To Go To Court?

Over the years, I have worn many different "hats" as a Georgia lawyer.  I have worked as a judge's law clerk, as a state prosecutor, as a federal prosecutor, (and U.S. Attorney's office manager), and now, as a law partner in an Augusta, Georgia law firm.  In my current position, I also wear different hats, including being a divorce lawyer and a criminal defense attorney. 
Today, I want to put on my "divorce lawyer hat" and give you some more practical tips about Georgia divorces and divorce attorneys!
One common question which we are frequently asked, as Augusta, Georgia divorce attorneys, is: "Will I have to go to court?"  The simple answer is that, if it is a simple, uncontested divorce, generally, you probably will NOT be required to go to court.
As part of the documents which we will prepare for you, in your simple, uncontested divorce, we will essentially get your spouse to agree that we, as your divorce lawyers, may take your deposition by paper, which means that you probably won't have to go to court. 
Of course, you should discuss these and all your other questions with your own divorce attorney!  And now, I must put on my "other hat" and tend to some Augusta criminal defense lawyer business!  Have a great weekend!

A "D-Day" Tribute: June 6, 1944

[Photo from metmuseum.org]

As you know, we are divorce lawyers in Augusta, Georgia.  I am also a former federal (and state) prosecutor in Augusta.  Currently, I am a divorce attorney and criminal defense attorney.  

Maybe some of you assumed that the above caption, which refers to "D-Day," meant that this is "divorce day."  Actually, most of you probably know that "D-Day" refers to that important date, June 6, 1944, during World War II, when the allies landed on the coast of Normandy, France in the largest amphibious invasion in world history. 

My late father was one of many brave Americans who fought on that morning at Omaha Beach.  He was a medic and a member of the fighting Seabees.  One can only imagine the horrors which he and others experienced there, sixty-seven years ago today.  On this date, and every day, I am very grateful and very proud of him and all the other brave young men who fought for our freedom.  We must never forget their devotion and sacrifices for all of us.

Celebrity Divorces and Separations: Schwarzenegger and Shriver

[Photo from Wikipedia]

Yesterday, according to various news reports, a representative for former Governor Arnold Scwarzenegger announced that the actor and former governor will delay his film career comeback.  Apparently, he is simply temporarily putting his acting career on hold while he deals with troubles associated with his separation from Maria Shriver, his wife of 25 years.  At the same time, various news reports further indicate that Ms. Shriver has reportedly hired a California divorce attorney.

Who knows what might happen next in that ongoing salacious celebrity saga.  But let's lay aside the specific facts of that situation and talk a little bit about similar issues confronted by other "regular folks" going through a divorce or separation.

Mr. Schwarzenegger's delay of his movie career illustrates a problem common to many separating or divorcing couples.  Don't you agree that it would be tough -- both emotionally and time-wise -- for anyone to attempt to deal with a separation or divorce, while also attempting to juggle job pressures and deadlines?  Just imagine how tough it would be for you to have to go to work every day, while also dealing with child custody and visitation issues, along with financial pressures common to most divorces?  But the point is that, generally, most "regular folks" have no choice.  They must deal with both -- the pressures of their split-up and their job pressures.  Most folks cannot put their day jobs on hold. 

So, arguably, while no separation or divorce is easy, at least the former governor can afford to take some time off while he confronts his personal life's challenges.  That is good for him.  But that is a luxury that many divorcing couples simply cannot afford.  What do you think?

Biggest Celebrity Divorces and Separations: Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver

[Photo from Wikipedia]

Wow!  Just when you thought things were bad enough for former Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, we now hear the news reports today in which Schwarzenegger reportedly acknowledges a past alleged relationship with a former household staff member and that this relationship produced a love child a decade ago!  You will recall that, earlier, this past week, the former governor and his wife of 25 years, Maria Shriver, had publicly announced their separation.  Thereafter, we have now heard this stunning revelation today about the alleged cause of the celebrity couple's split.

Hopefully, the paparazzi will honor requests made by both Schwarzenegger and Shriver for privacy for her and the couple's four children.  Of course, we can also hope that the media will also leave alone the former staff member and her child, too.  But we won't hold our collective breaths, will we?

As we have seen before, it is bad enough when things like this occur in the marriage of any average citizen.  And adultery, infidelity, cheating, "fooling around," or whatever you want to call it, do occur "out there," don't they?  But perhaps the public scrutiny and, in particular, the relentless probing by the paparazzi, often only compound the problems in celebrity marriages.  In many respects, this is a sad situation with complicated issues.  Hopefully, the parties involved will be able to address the tough issues involved, as best they can.  Don't you agree?

The Goolsby Law Firm "Brag Board"

[Goolsby Law Firm, LLC]

I hope you don't mind if I, as a proud father, boast a little bit again today about my four children!  As you may know, currently, I practice law in Augusta, Georgia with my oldest son, Richard H. Goolsby, Jr.  At the Goolsby Law Firm, LLC, we handle divorces, child custody, step parent adoptions, and many other types of family law matters, along with personal injury cases, and other general litigation.  In addition, because I am a former federal and state prosecutor, we also handle criminal defense in federal and state courts.  (I am the only former 20 year federal prosecutor in Augusta, Georgia).  In other words, the former prosecutor is now a criminal defense attorney and divorce lawyer!

But that's enough about me!  Today, I want to brag about the fact that my third son just graduated, summa cum laude, from the University of Georgia.  Also, he has been accepted and will begin his first year of law school at UGA in the fall.  In addition, my second son has just completed his second year of law school at another outstanding Georgia law school, at Mercer University.  Both my second and third sons plan to join my oldest son and me at the Goolsby Law Firm when they have completed their legal studies! We will truly be a family law firm!  Finally, we are also very proud of our daughter/sister who is graduating this week from high school.  She is arguably the wisest member of our family because she is our only child/sibling who does not want to become a lawyer!