Is It Really "Your Thing?" Or Can You Really Cheat Or "Do What You Wanna Do" Before Your Divorce Is Final?

[Photo from users.rowan.edu]

Do you remember the classic 1960's song, "It's Your Thing," by the Isley Brothers?  If so, then you will recall that the song's lyrics essentially suggest that, because it's "your thing," then you can "do what you wanna do" and "sock it" to whomever you want and, presumably, whenever you want!

But is this song really true in all situations?  More particularly, is it really "your thing," during a divorce, and can you "sock it" to whomever you want, and whenever you want, even before your divorce is final?  In other words, is it okay to cheat, or commit adultery, even before the ink on your divorce decree is dry?

As divorce lawyers in Augusta, Georgia, in our opinion, our plain, simple answer to this important question is "NO!"  It is NOT okay!  In other words, generally speaking, (and from a legal standpoint), in a Georgia divorce, it is NOT okay to cheat, or date, or commit adultery, or run around, or do "your thing" until after your divorce is final!  There are too many potential ramifications and too many potential adverse consequences, of cheating, to discuss here.  Be sure to consult with your own divorce attorney.  But a couple of examples should suffice.  

For instance, proof of cheating, even long after the separation, might tend to support your spouse's claim that adultery also occurred before the separation.  In addition, if you are out partying and "running around" while the divorce is pending, it could potentially have an impact on the issue of which party would make the best custodial parent in a child custody battle.  Again, talk with your own divorce lawyer about this issue!

Look, as divorce attorneys, we realize that you are, in reality, going to "do what you wanna do."  But our job, as divorce lawyers, is not to slap you on the back and approve everything you "wanna do."  Our role is to provide information and sound advice, even if it is not what you want to hear.

Can you imagine my surprise when I recently read another divorce lawyer's blog in which that divorce attorney essentially suggested that it is okay to cheat during a divorce?!  Actually, the lawyer basically suggested that it is okay to cheat before your divorce is final, but just don't get caught! 

Well, you won't hear that same advice, or opinion, at the Goolsby Law Firm, LLC!  As you know, we are divorce lawyers in Augusta, Georgia -- in the heart of the Bible Belt.  Maybe things are handled differently in divorce cases in other places.  And maybe it is okay to do "your thing" in other jurisdictions. 

But in Georgia, if you are going through a divorce, again, you should discuss the potential impact of adultery on your divorce with your own divorce lawyer.  And, if you ask us, from a legal standpoint, while it may be "your thing," you shouldn't "do what you wanna do," until after the divorce is final. 

GPS Devices and Tracking a Spouse To Prove Adultery

[Photo from shop.geocaching.com]

Do you suspect that your worthless spouse, "Sluggo," is cheating on you?  But are you unsure how to prove his adultery, or infidelity?  Well, did you hear the news this week out of New Jersey?  According to various news reports, a New Jersey court held this week that a divorcing party who hired a private investigator who helped her prove her spouse's adultery, by placing a GPS tracking device in her alleged cheating spouse's car, did not violate the alleged cheater's privacy rights.

Of course, as Augusta, Georgia divorce attorneys, we strongly recommend that you consult with your own divorce lawyer concerning all your rights and options BEFORE you attempt to prove adultery in this manner!  Privacy and search and seizure laws vary from state to state.  Additionally, as we have also discussed before in this divorce blog, you could get into trouble if you try some questionable tactics.  For example, we have discussed before the trouble which people can get into for hacking into their spouse's emails.

The bottom line:  As television host Nick Cannon warns on America's Got Talent, "PLEASE DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!"  More specifically, do not try any method of proving Sluggo's infidelity without first consulting with your divorce lawyer about it!

How To Prove "Sluggo's" Adultery: Hooking Up With His iPhone?

                                            [Photo from textually.org]

"Hello, Lover!  It's nice to see you, but I hope you left your iphone at home!"

Will this be the new greeting for folks out there who are committing adultery?  Well, after the news reports came out yesterday about what your iphone can tell about where you have been, everyone, including divorce lawyers, should be wondering about the possible ramifications!
1.  New Reports About Apple's iPhone Tracking Your Location:

More specifically, various news reports indicate that Apple's iPhone4 keeps track of everywhere you go and stores this information in an unencrypted file.  This file can reportedly be easily accessed by any device with which you synchronize your phone!   Why did Apple do this?  We still don't know.  Apple still has not responded to inquiries about why this data is being stored on its hot new phone.  But all of us who are interested in freedom and our right to privacy should be concerned.
2.  Possible Impact on your Right to Privacy and Proof of Adultery:

After all, consider the wide range of possible threats to your privacy.  For instance, if you have a phone, the government, or the police, could determine with whom you have met, or where, even without a search warrant.  And, your worthless spouse, "Sluggo," had better not forget that, in divorce cases, divorce attorneys could more easily determine with whom you have met, and could more easily prove adultery, too!

The point is that, once again, we have seen that technology, in spite of its wonderful benefits, can also represent a threat to our basic freedoms, too.  So, Sluggo, if you are going to cheat, you had better leave your phone at home!

Adultery and Divorce: Will You Go to Jail AND to Hell?

Have you ever seen a sign like this one?  The sign pictured above, about the eternal, everlasting consequences of adultery, reportedly appears outside a Texas church.  But laying aside the question of what God will do to you, if you commit adultry, have you ever wondered whether or not adultery constitutes a criminal law violation, too?  In other words, could your worthless spouse, "Sluggo," go to jail, (as well as to Hell), if he cheats, too?

The answer depends, in part, on which state you live in.  In other words, not every state still criminalizes adultery, infidelity, or cheating.  So, you would need to consult with a divorce attorney, (or a criminal defense lawyer), in your state to get a definitive answer to this question.

1. GEORGIA CRIMINAL LAW AND ADULTERY:

But I can tell you a little bit about Georgia law.  (As you know, I am a divorce lawyer in Augusta, Georgia.  I also was a state and federal prosecutor before I went into private practice and became a divorce lawyer with my oldest son).  As to cheating and "running around" in the State of Georgia, I can tell you that, based upon my experience as a former prosecutor, while adultery is technically still "on the books" as a crime in this state, it is rarely enforced by prosecutors.

2. GEORGIA DIVORCE LAW AND ADULTERY: 

Of course, even if you don't go to jail, you should also know that adultery is nonetheless a fault ground which may have a devastating impact on your divorce, including its potential impact on issues involving child custody, alimony, and property division.  So, please don't read this post and think, for even a minute, that adultery won't cause you, or Sluggo, any problems!  

After all, it might also be your misfortune that your local D.A. may decide to dust off the criminal law books and make you an example by prosecuting you for committing adultery!  As always, please consult with your own divorce attorney about your situation and about the impact of adultery in your case. 

Here's also hoping that Sluggo will straighten up before God or the D.A. get him, too!

Husband Faces Hacking Charges For Checking Wife's Email!

Have you heard the news?  Various news outlets have reported that a Michigan man faces felony anti-hacking charges because he checked his wife's email on a family computer!  The emails reportedly revealed that she had been having an affair.  What is your opinion about a prosecutor bringing criminal charges in this divorce context?

As divorce attorneys in Augusta, Georgia, we have warned you before about this very possibility.  You must be careful about how you attempt to prove adultery.  In other words, even if you suspect your spouse of committing adultery, we have always recommended that you should carefully discuss with your own divorce lawyer the proper ways to obtain the evidence of infidelity.  More simply put, as any attorney will tell you, you should always use legitimate means to prove your worthless spouse, "Sluggo," is cheating, because he isn't worth going to jail over!

Of course, it remains to be seen whether or not the Michigan man violated any anti-hacking laws or did anything wrong.  His criminal defense attorney reportedly maintains that his client had legitimately accessed a family computer.  His criminal lawyer also has reportedly raised a good question:  Don't Michigan prosecutors have better things to do than to bring criminal charges like this one in this divorce case!?

What do you think?

Top Google Searches Leading to This Blog on Georgia Divorce Law

I enjoy being a divorce lawyer with my son and handling divorces in Augusta, Georgia.  (Perhaps "enjoy" isn't the right word for it, but the opportunity to practice law with my sons is priceless!) I also enjoy producing this divorce blog in which, among other things, we attempt to provide some practical tips and information about getting a divorce in Georgia.

In addition, I enjoy blogging about celebrity divorces and about what it is like to be a divorce attorney.  I have been amazed, like most bloggers, as to how folks find this site!  Can you guess which key word search leads to the most hits on this site?  Drum roll, please.................The answer is...............................  

1.  How To Prove Adultery in Georgia:  This remains the most popular key word search terms which lead to this divorce blog.  Do you suppose most of the searchers are the victims of the infidelity or cheating?  Or do you reckon they are the cuckolds or cheaters?  In any event, we attempt to provide practical information on how to prove adultery for all parties to discuss with their own divorce attorneys.

Thank you for visiting this blog, no matter what you are looking for!  In the new year, I look forward to sharing with you more divorce information for you to share with your own divorce attorney!  And if your favorite celebrity gets a divorce in 2011, I look forward to sharing information with you about that, too!

Kelly Chang Rickert Explains "The Jude Law"

I had the privilege and pleasure of appearing on this fabulous TV show last night on Style Network.

In case you missed it - here is a piece of advice, straight from a divorce lawyer's mouth.

The Dish Presents: Surviving a Bad Romance

THE DISH PRESENTS:

SURVIVING A BAD ROMANCE

Sunday 8/22/2010; 8pm PST, Style Network



(Kelly Chang Rickert appears as an expert on this show.)

Survive a cheating no good loser on 'The Dish Presents'

Know a cheater, loser, drunk, druggie, no good can't get a job to save his life piece of work?

Don't we all.

Then don’t miss the one-hour Style special “The Dish Presents: Surviving a Bad Romance,” as Host Danielle Fishel, relationship experts and comedians offer up a hilarious pop-culture guide for the do's and don'ts for surviving a bad romance!

“The Dish Presents: Surviving a Bad Romance” airs this Sunday, August 22 at 8:00pm et/pt, only on The Style Network!

It’s estimated that close to half of all guys will cheat at some point in their lives. So, what’s a girl to do when her man is caught with his pants down?

Luckily, hope is on the way, as Danielle Fishel, host of the hit series “The Dish,” introduces a group of relationship experts and comedians who will serve up hilariously helpful commentary, offer advice about how to deal with cheaters and help scorned women avoid the pitfalls while maximizing the perks of their situation.

Investigating the most shocking celebrity breakups to date, no high-profile couples will be off limits as the team scrutinizes the unfortunate events that lead to their failed romances. From scandalous extramarital affairs, to explosive admissions and the unexpected and even bizarre outcomes, women will learn from these mistakes and know what to do when faced with an unfaithful partner.

Tune in to this instructive yet sassy guide to overcoming a broken heart, on “The Dish Presents: Surviving a Bad Romance.”

Divorce and Adultery Around the World

As an Augusta, Georgia divorce lawyer, I have offered, in this blog, a lot of practical tips and information about adultery, which you should discuss with your own divorce attorney. In particular, we have discussed some of the serious consequences of cheating, along with some posts about how to prove adultery in Georgia.

Yes, the consequences of infidelity can be significant. For example, you could potentially lose a good shot at alimony. You might even lose child custody in some cases.

However, none of these problems faced by an adulterer in this state can compare to the terrible problems faced today by a 43 year old woman in Iran. Have you seen the shocking news?

According to news reports, Ms. Sakineh Ashtiani faces death by stoning this weekend, following her conviction of adultery. The reports further indicate that she has already served five years in prison and endured 99 lashes for the alleged offense.

In my opinion, this punishment is outrageous! Here's hoping that international pressure will save this poor woman from being stoned to death for adultery. Don't you totally agree? What do you think?

Facebook a "Treasure Trove" for Divorce Lawyers

By Larry Hartstein


The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

As if divorce lawyers needed more ammunition.

In a new survey, 81 percent say they've seen an increase in the use of Facebook and other social networking sites for evidence in divorce cases. Notes to lovers, compromising photos -- Facebook provides a wealth of incriminating information.

"Every client I've seen in the last six months had a Facebook page," said Ken Altshuler, a longtime divorce lawyer from Portland, Maine, who is first vice president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. "And the first piece of advice I give them is to terminate their page immediately."

Sixty-six percent of the attorneys surveyed by the AAML called Facebook the unrivaled leader for online divorce evidence, followed by MySpace (15 percent) and Twitter (5 percent).

"Going through a divorce always results in heightened levels of personal scrutiny," said Marlene Eskind Moses of Nashville, the group's president. "If you publicly post any contradictions to previously made statements and promises, an estranged spouse will certainly be one of the first people to notice and make use of that evidence."

Altshuler cited a couple cases in which Facebook proved key:

A woman was getting divorced from her alcoholic husband and seeking custody of their kids. The husband told the judge he had found God and hadn't had a drink in months, but Altshuler found a recent Facebook photo showing him "holding a beer in each hand with a joint in his mouth," the lawyer said.

Then there was the custody case in which his client's ex-wife claimed to be engaged. She was trying to show she'd provide a stable household for the kids.

But the same woman had posted on Facebook that she'd broken up with her abusive boyfriend and "if anybody had a rich friend to let her know," Altshuler said.

The ex-husband's friend gave him the posting; he was still Facebook friends with the ex-wife.

"People don't think about who has access to their Facebook page," Altshuler said. "A good attorney can have a field day with this information."

"Facebook is a wealth of information," said Kenneth Altshuler, the first vice president of the AAML who has been a divorce lawyer for 25 years. "My first advice to clients is: ‘Shut down your Facebook page."

Governor Mark Sanford: A Harsh Lesson On How Not To Divorce Your Spouse

This post is about lessons everyone should learn from the divorce case of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford concerning how NOT to go about getting a divorce; that is, if you want to at least keep the shirt on your back! (Of course, this is simply a blog and no legal advice is offered, not even to the Governor. You should first discuss each of the issues in this blog with your own divorce attorney, just as Governor Sanford should have done so)!

Friday's announcement by the Governor's wife, Jenny Sanford, that she had filed for a divorce probably shocked no one. Unlike many other politician wives, she had made it clear, from the beginning, that she wasn't going to simply ignore his infidelity and "stand by her man!" But the path taken by the Governor, beginning with his bizarre behavior which culminated with his June, 2009 press conference was the real shocker! In my opinion, here are some of the reasons why.

For instance, you will recall that the Governor, (shown above during earlier, happier times), had strangely disappeared from the state for several days, without telling anyone. Of course, we later learned that he had taken a secret trip to Argentina to see his girl friend. (We later would also learn that he had taken other similar trips at taxpayers' expense).

But there's more!

Then, in another strange move, he had his staffers lie by announcing that he had merely taken a hike on the Appalachian Trail.

But there's more!

Finally, Governor Sanford's most bizarre behavior may have actually occurred during his June "mea culpa" press conference. There, as you will recall, he confessed his adultery to the world! A public confession of adultery, in itself, is bizarre and ill-advised!

But wait, there's more!

Check out videos of the press conference on Youtube, or elsewhere. Note the two young women, (probably staffers), standing behind the Governor, as he spills his guts. To me, they appear to be trying not to snicker throughout his confession! Their giggling added to the odd episode. Surely, they must have realized that something strange was unfolding before their eyes! Put another way, these young women, like everyone else, must have been thinking: "I don't believe I would have said what he just said!")

But there's still one more lesson to be learned!

If you listen to nothing else I ever say again, please listen to the following lesson, (and, in my opinion, this mistake made by the Governor, aside from the affair itself, is perhaps the worst mistake and most bizarre thing he has said or done). That lesson is: If you ever feel compelled to confess adultery to the world, (and as a divorce lawyer, I certainly wouldn't recommend such a confession!), PLEASE NEVER, EVER TELL THE WORLD THAT YOUR LOVER IS STILL YOUR SOULMATE!!

Because when you do, you might as well grab your checkbook and ask your spouse how many extra zeroes does she want you to add to the divorce settlement check!

Divorce and How NOT to Prove Adultery

This blog gets a lot of hits on the internet from folks looking for information about how to prove adultery. Sometimes, I wonder if adultery is like an epidemic, spreading faster than Georgia cudzu, or the swine flu, (oops, sorry, I meant the H1N1 flu!). We have touched on this topic, (that is, adultery, not cudzu or H1N1 flu!), a little bit before, and, no doubt, we will do so again. But I thought it might also be helpful to talk with you some about how NOT to try to prove adultery! Here are some ideas:

1. Thou shalt NOT hack into "Sluggo's" computer: Hacking into someone else's computer would most probably not only be illegal, but also the information you obtain would likely not be admissible in your divorce case. So, even if find pictures of your worthless spouse, "Sluggo," in the arms of "Brunhilda," the "other woman," it won't do you any good, if you break the law. On the other hand, if it is a family computer to which you have equal access, then you should discuss with your divorce lawyer about the advisability of legitimately getting the pictures of "Sluggo" snuggling with "Brunhilda."

2. Thou shalt NOT record "Sluggo's" telephone calls with others: This could also very well constitute a crime and the results of the telephone calls would not be admissible in your divorce case either! So, simply put, don't do it! Now, in some jurisdictions, including Georgia, it may be legal and permissible for you to record your OWN telephone conversations with another person. But it is critically important for you to discuss these "neat ideas" with a divorce lawyer in your state before you attempt to do any of them!

The bottom line is that, in your haste to prove "Sluggo's" infidelity, if you fail to first obtain your divorce attorney's advice, you could be getting into serious trouble and jeopardizing any hope of success in your divorce!

So, to all of you "out there" searching the internet for the truth about how (NOT) to prove adultery, I hope this post helps!