Is It Really "Your Thing?" Or Can You Really Cheat Or "Do What You Wanna Do" Before Your Divorce Is Final?

[Photo from users.rowan.edu]

Do you remember the classic 1960's song, "It's Your Thing," by the Isley Brothers?  If so, then you will recall that the song's lyrics essentially suggest that, because it's "your thing," then you can "do what you wanna do" and "sock it" to whomever you want and, presumably, whenever you want!

But is this song really true in all situations?  More particularly, is it really "your thing," during a divorce, and can you "sock it" to whomever you want, and whenever you want, even before your divorce is final?  In other words, is it okay to cheat, or commit adultery, even before the ink on your divorce decree is dry?

As divorce lawyers in Augusta, Georgia, in our opinion, our plain, simple answer to this important question is "NO!"  It is NOT okay!  In other words, generally speaking, (and from a legal standpoint), in a Georgia divorce, it is NOT okay to cheat, or date, or commit adultery, or run around, or do "your thing" until after your divorce is final!  There are too many potential ramifications and too many potential adverse consequences, of cheating, to discuss here.  Be sure to consult with your own divorce attorney.  But a couple of examples should suffice.  

For instance, proof of cheating, even long after the separation, might tend to support your spouse's claim that adultery also occurred before the separation.  In addition, if you are out partying and "running around" while the divorce is pending, it could potentially have an impact on the issue of which party would make the best custodial parent in a child custody battle.  Again, talk with your own divorce lawyer about this issue!

Look, as divorce attorneys, we realize that you are, in reality, going to "do what you wanna do."  But our job, as divorce lawyers, is not to slap you on the back and approve everything you "wanna do."  Our role is to provide information and sound advice, even if it is not what you want to hear.

Can you imagine my surprise when I recently read another divorce lawyer's blog in which that divorce attorney essentially suggested that it is okay to cheat during a divorce?!  Actually, the lawyer basically suggested that it is okay to cheat before your divorce is final, but just don't get caught! 

Well, you won't hear that same advice, or opinion, at the Goolsby Law Firm, LLC!  As you know, we are divorce lawyers in Augusta, Georgia -- in the heart of the Bible Belt.  Maybe things are handled differently in divorce cases in other places.  And maybe it is okay to do "your thing" in other jurisdictions. 

But in Georgia, if you are going through a divorce, again, you should discuss the potential impact of adultery on your divorce with your own divorce lawyer.  And, if you ask us, from a legal standpoint, while it may be "your thing," you shouldn't "do what you wanna do," until after the divorce is final. 

How To Prove "Sluggo's" Adultery: Hooking Up With His iPhone?

                                            [Photo from textually.org]

"Hello, Lover!  It's nice to see you, but I hope you left your iphone at home!"

Will this be the new greeting for folks out there who are committing adultery?  Well, after the news reports came out yesterday about what your iphone can tell about where you have been, everyone, including divorce lawyers, should be wondering about the possible ramifications!
1.  New Reports About Apple's iPhone Tracking Your Location:

More specifically, various news reports indicate that Apple's iPhone4 keeps track of everywhere you go and stores this information in an unencrypted file.  This file can reportedly be easily accessed by any device with which you synchronize your phone!   Why did Apple do this?  We still don't know.  Apple still has not responded to inquiries about why this data is being stored on its hot new phone.  But all of us who are interested in freedom and our right to privacy should be concerned.
2.  Possible Impact on your Right to Privacy and Proof of Adultery:

After all, consider the wide range of possible threats to your privacy.  For instance, if you have a phone, the government, or the police, could determine with whom you have met, or where, even without a search warrant.  And, your worthless spouse, "Sluggo," had better not forget that, in divorce cases, divorce attorneys could more easily determine with whom you have met, and could more easily prove adultery, too!

The point is that, once again, we have seen that technology, in spite of its wonderful benefits, can also represent a threat to our basic freedoms, too.  So, Sluggo, if you are going to cheat, you had better leave your phone at home!

What are the Signs of Adultery? (Or Signs That "Sluggo" Has Been Up To No Good!)

How can you tell if your worthless spouse, "Sluggo," is slipping down that one-way path of iniquity, known as adultery?

You might find some answers in a new article in the latest edition of Redbook. There, Dr. Jane Greer, a noted couples therapist, has written an article on how to stop an affair before it starts. She also details some of the warning signs that your spouse may be headed toward the "cheating zone." For example, Dr. Greer indicates you may be facing trouble if you and your spouse are too busy for one another, or if you have put each other too low on your priority lists. Also, if you have thrown in the towel and don't really argue any more, it may be a sign you are facing the prospect of adultery, too.

Check out the Redbook article for other serious signs of infidelity. But that's enough serious talk about divorce and adultery today! As a divorce lawyer in Augusta, Georgia, I have also compiled my own, (more lighthearted), list of "signs of adultery," or "signs that 'Sluggo' is fixin' to be up to no good!" Consider the following:

1. You probably should get suspicious if "Sluggo" has suddenly started watching the t.v. series Jersey Shore and then runs off his mouth about tips on how to treat a lady!

2. You should also keep an eye on "Sluggo" if he suddenly starts taking a bath, brushing his God-forsaken, tobacco-stained teeth, or if he ever asks you to wash his overalls!

3. You might suspect something if "Sluggo" starts making his beloved bird dawg, "Hoss," ride back in the truck bed, instead of right next to him in the cab, so as to keep the seats clean.

4. Finally, you really should get suspicious if "Sluggo" is constantly humming the tune to Elvira and he keeps goin' to eat at the IHOP, where that hot new waitress, Elvira, now works!

Divorce and Adultery Around the World

As an Augusta, Georgia divorce lawyer, I have offered, in this blog, a lot of practical tips and information about adultery, which you should discuss with your own divorce attorney. In particular, we have discussed some of the serious consequences of cheating, along with some posts about how to prove adultery in Georgia.

Yes, the consequences of infidelity can be significant. For example, you could potentially lose a good shot at alimony. You might even lose child custody in some cases.

However, none of these problems faced by an adulterer in this state can compare to the terrible problems faced today by a 43 year old woman in Iran. Have you seen the shocking news?

According to news reports, Ms. Sakineh Ashtiani faces death by stoning this weekend, following her conviction of adultery. The reports further indicate that she has already served five years in prison and endured 99 lashes for the alleged offense.

In my opinion, this punishment is outrageous! Here's hoping that international pressure will save this poor woman from being stoned to death for adultery. Don't you totally agree? What do you think?

Why Do People Cheat and How Does Adultery Affect Your Divorce?

Why do people cheat on their spouses? How does adultery affect your divorce in Georgia? These are two tough questions! Honestly, as a divorce lawyer in Augusta, Georgia, I find that the second question is easier to answer!

1. Why Do Married People Cheat?
As to the first question, all you need to do is type the words "why do people cheat" and search any of the search engines for answers. (You might also even see a few photos you recognize of celebrities, such as Jesse James, John Edwards, and Tiger Woods!) You will see that there have been countless studies, and articles and books written in the past twenty years alone on this topic. In my reading, I have learned that one of the primary reasons people cheat is the one you might guess: the loss of love and communication in their marriage. What do you think? What are some of the other reasons why people commit adultery?

2. How Does Adultery Affect Your Divorce?
Again, as a Georgia divorce attorney, this question is alot easier to answer! Unfortunately, the answers aren't so good, if you are the cheater! One potential consequence is that, in Georgia, if your worthless spouse, "Sluggo," can prove adultery as a cause of the divorce, then you may be barred from receiving alimony. Infidelity may also impact your share of the property division. In addition, cheating may result in a messier, more expensive divorce. Finally, if Sluggo can prove that your adultery has some bearing or relationship to your fitness as a parent, then it can even cause you to lose custody of your children. It is very important for you to discuss your situation with your own divorce lawyer!

So, those are my attempts at answering these two questions! What do you think? Why do people run around on their spouses?

Adultery: What Cheating Can Cost you!

As the old saying goes, "cheaters never win." It is true in sports and it is true in marriage and divorce, too!

Let's talk a little bit about the some of the practical consequences of adultery, if you get caught. Did you know, for example, that, if you get caught cheating, it can cost you any chance of getting alimony? According to Georgia's divorce law, (O.C.G.A. 19-6-1), a party in a divorce case is NOT entitled to alimony if it is established by a preponderance of the evidence that the separation between the parties was caused by that party's adultery or desertion. What this means, folks, is that even though your worthless spouse, "Sluggo," may have become about as romantic as a cold, limp dish rag, you had better not get caught running around on him if you want any chance at getting alimony! And you shouldn't desert him, or run off, either, according to Georgia law!

There are other potential consequences of cheating, too! For instance, although adultery, per se, may not be directly relevant to child custody, there is a possibility that, if you get caught partying around with another man, especially if you have "sleep overs" while the kids are present in the home, it might cost you custody of your children, too!

So, please just hold your horses until your divorce is final! Again, it's not my goal to "preach" at you, about cheating or anything else. I simply want to give you some practical information and tips to consider! As always, you should check with an attorney in your area about the consequences of adultery. I am not licensed in other states and I have no clue about what is okay to do in California!

And can I give you one more bit of practical advice? Please be honest with your divorce attorney! If you have been running around on ole' "Sluggo," then you should openly tell your lawyer, so that you can best determine together how to legitimately address these issues!

And one more thing... I bet I don't even have to tell you that you should NOT tell "Sluggo," if you have been "up to no good!"