A Couple More Massachusetts Blogs for Your Blogroll

In the nearly two years I have been absent from the blogosphere (from November of 2009 until today), I have noticed a number of good Massachusetts legal blogs that either weren't around before, or just hadn't caught my attention yet. There are in particular two I would suggest that you check out, and add to your blogroll as well: 1) Scaling the Summit: A Family Law Blog. This blog is primarily

Celebrity Divorce and Theatrics: From Sheen to Cage

                                                [Photo from history.com]

Folks, what is going on with Hollywood actors these days?  This is a humble divorce blog written by an Augusta, Georgia divorce lawyer.  Here, in past posts, we have often dealt with some of the domestic relations challenges faced by various celebrities.  The common theme has been that celebrities often face the same family law problems confronted by ordinary people.  But somehow, it seems to me that, lately, things have really gotten unusually bizarre in Hollywood!
1. The Nicolas Cage Incident:

For example, a few days ago, one of my favorite Hoolywood actors, Nicolas Cage, was reportedly arrested in new Orleans on charges of disorderly conduct and domestic abuse. 
2. The Latest Charlie Sheen Case:
And just yesterday, according to TMZ and other news sources, actor Charlie Sheen and one of his exes, Brooke Mueller, reportedly returned to court to address Sheen's request for a change of custody of their children.  According to various reports, the judge reportedly maintained the status quo, (and left the kids with Mueller), in spite of the alleged reports, or accusations, about drugs involving each of the parties.

Of course, no one really knows what happened in either of these celebrity cases.  News reports sometimes get the facts wrong, don't they?  Also, we should generally accept such "news" reports with a jaundiced eye, anyway.  Don't you agree?

But I'll bet you will also agree that, no matter what really happened in either of these cases, there appear to be some strange "goins on" in Hollywood these days!  

Divorce, Child Custody and Parent Selection

After several "entertaining" posts, maybe it is time for me to put on my Augusta, Georgia divorce attorney hat and give you some more "meat and potatoes," or practical tips, for you to discuss with your own divorce lawyer!  Today, let's talk a little bit about parent selection in a Georgia child custody case.

Did you know that, in Georgia, generally, a child who has reached 14 years old may sign a parent selection form and essentially choose with whom he or she wants to live?  Of course, the judge might still potentially ignore the kid's custody selection.  Moreover, the judge will still ultimately decide what is in the child's best interests.  But it is important that you know that, at least in the State of Georgia, parent selection is still possible. 

So, if you are going through a divorce from your worthless spouse, "Sluggo," and your son, "Sluggo, Jr." tells you he wants to stay with you, then you now know to make a beeline down to your divorce attorney and ask him or her about parent selection!  What are the rules about parent selection in your state? 

Adultery and Divorce: Will You Go to Jail AND to Hell?

Have you ever seen a sign like this one?  The sign pictured above, about the eternal, everlasting consequences of adultery, reportedly appears outside a Texas church.  But laying aside the question of what God will do to you, if you commit adultry, have you ever wondered whether or not adultery constitutes a criminal law violation, too?  In other words, could your worthless spouse, "Sluggo," go to jail, (as well as to Hell), if he cheats, too?

The answer depends, in part, on which state you live in.  In other words, not every state still criminalizes adultery, infidelity, or cheating.  So, you would need to consult with a divorce attorney, (or a criminal defense lawyer), in your state to get a definitive answer to this question.

1. GEORGIA CRIMINAL LAW AND ADULTERY:

But I can tell you a little bit about Georgia law.  (As you know, I am a divorce lawyer in Augusta, Georgia.  I also was a state and federal prosecutor before I went into private practice and became a divorce lawyer with my oldest son).  As to cheating and "running around" in the State of Georgia, I can tell you that, based upon my experience as a former prosecutor, while adultery is technically still "on the books" as a crime in this state, it is rarely enforced by prosecutors.

2. GEORGIA DIVORCE LAW AND ADULTERY: 

Of course, even if you don't go to jail, you should also know that adultery is nonetheless a fault ground which may have a devastating impact on your divorce, including its potential impact on issues involving child custody, alimony, and property division.  So, please don't read this post and think, for even a minute, that adultery won't cause you, or Sluggo, any problems!  

After all, it might also be your misfortune that your local D.A. may decide to dust off the criminal law books and make you an example by prosecuting you for committing adultery!  As always, please consult with your own divorce attorney about your situation and about the impact of adultery in your case. 

Here's also hoping that Sluggo will straighten up before God or the D.A. get him, too!

Why Do People Cheat and How Does Adultery Affect Your Divorce?

Why do people cheat on their spouses? How does adultery affect your divorce in Georgia? These are two tough questions! Honestly, as a divorce lawyer in Augusta, Georgia, I find that the second question is easier to answer!

1. Why Do Married People Cheat?
As to the first question, all you need to do is type the words "why do people cheat" and search any of the search engines for answers. (You might also even see a few photos you recognize of celebrities, such as Jesse James, John Edwards, and Tiger Woods!) You will see that there have been countless studies, and articles and books written in the past twenty years alone on this topic. In my reading, I have learned that one of the primary reasons people cheat is the one you might guess: the loss of love and communication in their marriage. What do you think? What are some of the other reasons why people commit adultery?

2. How Does Adultery Affect Your Divorce?
Again, as a Georgia divorce attorney, this question is alot easier to answer! Unfortunately, the answers aren't so good, if you are the cheater! One potential consequence is that, in Georgia, if your worthless spouse, "Sluggo," can prove adultery as a cause of the divorce, then you may be barred from receiving alimony. Infidelity may also impact your share of the property division. In addition, cheating may result in a messier, more expensive divorce. Finally, if Sluggo can prove that your adultery has some bearing or relationship to your fitness as a parent, then it can even cause you to lose custody of your children. It is very important for you to discuss your situation with your own divorce lawyer!

So, those are my attempts at answering these two questions! What do you think? Why do people run around on their spouses?

Child Custody: A Goolsby "War Story" About Summer Smith

"Mr. Goolsby, if you will take our child custody case, I promise you I will get a second job and I promise I will do whatever it takes to pay you for your help!"

I will never forget this plea from a little girl's mother and maternal grandmother. At the time, I was right out of law school and still wet behind the ears. I was practicing family law in a small south Georgia law firm. The custody case involved Summer Smith, (not her real name*), a precious two year old girl, who was caught in the middle of a bitter custody battle between the little girl's mother and the little girl's paternal grandmother.

I had serious doubts about taking the case. First of all, the child's mother and (maternal) grandmother had no money and I realized this custody case would be very demanding. Also, at the beginning, the facts and the law didn't look too good for our side. For instance, I learned that the child's (paternal) grandmother had adopted the child in another state, albeit without serving or providing notice to our client, the child's mother. In addition, the child's mother had shown questionable judgment by going to the other state, where she had "snatched" her child and brought her back to Georgia.

The (paternal) grandmother had immediately come to Georgia, retained another attorney, and was seeking the return of her "adopted" child (and grandchild). Again, things didn't look good for the home team!

But I took the case and learned several lessons from it! For instance, we won the child custody battle! I was able to convince the judge that the adoption was bogus, and should be set aside, because our client had not been properly served or given notice. I also convinced the judge that it would be in the child's best interests for her mother to have custody. It was a resounding victory! We were totally successful in re-uniting the little girl, Summer, with her mom! I had learned that, generally, you don't always know what the courts will do!

However, I also learned another important lesson! In this case, even though we won, we never got paid a dime for our legal services! So, I learned that, sometimes, as a family lawyer, your only reward may be a job well done! And at least, looking back, I can be proud that I helped re-unite a little girl with her mother!

[* Facts and names have been changed in this illustration.]

Divorce: Like a Tug of War!

Divorces can be like a tug of war. And I'll bet you have heard about some divorces getting down and dirty! In some cases, parties to a divorce have also been known to fight over relatively trivial issues, such as who will get custody of Spot, the family dog! (Of course, if we knew Spot, maybe we wouldn't believe it was so trivial!) But in other divorce cases, the issues are critically important and worth fighting for, such as battles to obtain child custody against an abusive spouse.

How do you decide which issues are worth fighting for? And how do you know when you should engage in the "tug of war" and when should you mediate or compromise? Honestly, it's impossible to say here. And frankly, I also believe it is important to emphasize that such decisions must ultimately be made by you, the client. No family member, divorce lawyer, or judge can make such important decisions for you. If possible, you should find some quiet time and carefully weigh what is important to you and where you must draw the lines. While you should also consult with an attorney about the pros and cons of fighting over each important issue, in the end, your divorce attorney will expect you to make the choices or decisions.

And every divorce is different. In other words, each case has its own unique set of facts. So, while your attorney may be able to give you good advice about what could happen in some situations, since your attorney does not have a crystal ball, he or she cannot predict or guarantee a result, if you decide to fight!

So, please carefully weigh and decide what is important to you, where you must draw the lines, and when you must engage in a tug of war!

Beware of Facebook, MySpace, and Dating Websites!

Did you know that divorce lawyers in Georgia are now taught at divorce law seminars to investigate whether or not the opposing party in a divorce has "prematurely" joined a social networking or dating website?! The point is: While you may be a hopeless romantic who is disillusioned with your worthless, good-for-nothing spouse, if you are smart, you will wait on trolling the internet for love or friendship until AFTER your divorce is final!

So many people in Georgia divorces are failing to consider or heed this simple advice. And sadly, they are also failing to consider the potential consequences. For example, if you and your spouse have small children and child custody is an issue, it clearly does not help your custody case if you are "out there" on Facebook describing your weekend of partying, or if you are already on Match.com seeking a new partner!

In addition, please don't ever assume that your spouse does not know your password, or that no one on the internet will know that you are there. These are common mistakes and false assumptions made by divorcing couples.

The bottom line is: Although it is your choice to make, we would urge you to consult with your divorce attorney about your internet activities before your divorce is filed or pending. Divorce attorneys at The Goolsby Law Firm, LLC typically recommend to our Augusta and Martinez clients that they should "live like Mother Teresa" until their divorce is final! Better yet, maybe you should also simply consider avoiding the internet until the judge signs your final decree and you are finally free to find true love! What do you think?

Best Divorce Cartoon

A colleague, who happens to be a psychotherapist and not a lawyer, just gave me a copy of the following New Yorker Divorce Cartoon a few days ago. The cartoon is very good and to publish it here I would have to pay more than I am willing to pay for the license, so if you want to see it, you will have to follow my link. But I may have to order a print of this myself.The cartoon, by Mick Stevens

Fathers & Families Group Unsuccessfully Sought to Block Implementation of New Child Support Guidelines

The organization Fathers and Families (www.fathersandfamilies.org) has recently gone to federal court in an unsuccessful attempt to block use of the new Massachusetts Child Support Guidelines in our family courts. See The Docket » Blog Archive » Fathers’ group sues to stop new child support rules. I am writing an article on the new child support guidelines for a law journal, and am trying to keep

Single Custodial Dads

I just came across this article, The Life of a Single Dad, in which I am quoted, quite extensively, and not just as a divorce and family law attorney this time, but rather, primarily at least, as a single, custodial father. The article was published in the award-winning local Parents and Kids Magazine back at the end of May, but I have just now gotten around to finding it today. It's a good story

Madonna Divorce Settlement - It'll Be A Big "Payout" to Guy Ritchie

News was just released of the Madonna divorce settlement, under which Guy Ritchie will take around $76 Million as his part of the couple's marital assets division. For more, see the Guardian's report, Madonna divorce deal 'worth £50m' to husband Guy Ritchie | guardian.co.uk, and look at People Magazine's web story, Rep: Madonna to Pay Guy Ritchie $76 Million in Divorce Settlement -

Men As Caregivers

There was an interesting blog post by Leanna Hamill at the Massachusetts Estate Planning and Elder Law Blog yesterday commenting on a recent report that more men have in recent years taken on caregiving roles for aging parents or other relatives: Massachusetts Estate Planning and Elder Law: More Men Taking Over the Caregiving Role. It's interesting to see that just as men have become more active

Florida Trial Judge Rules That State's Ban on Gay Adoptions Is Unconstitutional

Today in the news there was yet another interesting development in the world of gay rights, this one in Florida: Florida ban on gay adoptions ruled unconstitutional - MiamiHerald.com.EXCERPT FROM MIAMI HERALD ARTICLE OF TODAY:BY CAROL MARBIN MILLER (cmarbin@MiamiHerald.com)A Miami-Dade circuit judge Tuesday declared Florida's 30-year-old ban on gay adoption unconstitutional, allowing a North

New & Improved Child Support Guidelines To Go Into Effect on January 1

New child support guidelines have just been promulgated, and they will go into effect in Massachusetts on January 1, 2009. See the Massachusetts Court System Press Release - November 5, 2008. I am one of the many attorneys, litigants, and other concerned citizens, who have long complained before that our current guidelines are not appropriate for our times, particularly as they are not precise

Stimulus Checks Intercepted for Child Support: My Client's Story and a Rant

While I myself have been too busy to post this past week, a few of my clients have found themselves quoted in the news. There's only one I can mention here. Cheryl Hayes, my former client, has authorized me to discuss her case after she thanked me for directing Associated Press reporter Steve LeBlanc to her this past Tuesday, thus resulting in her interview an hour later and a photo session that

Parental Kidnapping and Amber Alerts - Crockefeller Provides Teachable Moment

Since the case of Crockefeller (the man who most recently called himself "Clark Rockefeller" and who apparently has used numerous other names since coming to this country from Germany as Christian Gerhartsreiter) has begun to dominate the news, several people have asked me how a father can be charged with kidnapping his own son. (Whatever this man's identity, there is no question that he is the

Crockefeller, His Lawyer, and the Media

As I previously stated here right after "Clark Rockefeller" was arrested, there's got to be more to the weird story of Crockefeller and Snooks, and we're bound to hear more soon. Well we have now heard quite a bit more, and even some from Crockefeller's own lawyer.The Boston Globe had an article in today's paper, Lone defender savors high-profile case - by Jonathan Saltzman, about Crockefeller

The Economics of Gay Marriage

I have long been waiting for the Law and Economics blogging professor duo from the University of Chicago - Judge Richard Posner and Gary Becker - to address gay marriage on their blog. Well, the wait is over, as they both specifically addressed the issue today. See Judge Posner's post The Economics of Gay Marriage and Gary Becker's post Should Gay Marriages be Allowed? Gary Becker's piece is

"Rockefeller" Arrested In Baltimore After Kidnapping His Daughter "Snooks" in Boston

Crockefeller and Snooks. Hardly your everyday kidnapping.I have followed with interest the recent news about the apparent con-man and divorced father, who calls himself Rockefeller (dubbed "Crockefeller" by the NY Daily News), who recently kidnapped his daughter in Boston after she returned with her mother from England for his first visit with the child after the move. Apparently during the