Divorce, Child Custody Battles, and the Seal Beach, California Shooting Incident

At the time of this posting, while the reported details are still sketchy, it appears, based upon various news reports, that the tragic shooting and killing of eight people by a lone gunman at a Seal Beach, California beauty salon, Salon Meritage, may have been related to a child custody battle.  In short, based upon initial reports, it appears that a 42 year-old man, Scott DeKraai, who was arrested by police less than a mile away from the salon, had reportedly been engaged in a bitter child custody battle with a salon employee over their son.

Look, no one know if the initial news reports are true.  And naturally, no one should contest the fact that Mr. DeKraai is entitled to his fair day in court.  But it is also true, as this tragic incident may illustrate, and as every divorce lawyer knows, child custody battles can sometimes get ugly -- really ugly.  And sometimes, sadly, child custody disputes lead to violence.

Are there any solutions?  Perhaps we can consider that topic on another day.  But today, our thoughts and prayers go out to each of the victims of this tragedy and to each of their families.

Celebrity Separations and Divorces: Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher

[Photo from Wikipedia]

I am sorry I have been away from the blogging world for the past week!  As an Augusta, Georgia divorce lawyer, (who also handles personal injury, criminal defense, and countless other legal matters), I have really been busy! I feel like I have been jumpin' and steppin' on alligators all week -- with both feet!  But it's nice to be back to blogging!

Have you heard the news reports about an alleged potential split between Hollywood actors Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore?  You will have to read elsewhere about all the sordid allegations -- including allegations of adultery.  In fairness, probably no one in the entertainment media really knows the truth about such allegations.  But smut --whether true or not -- sells rags, doesn't it?  However, in any event, such smutty allegations are not the point of this post, anyway. 

The point of this post is that, as the Moore-Kutcher marriage has clearly demonstrated, (at least, until now), marriages between older women and younger men can, and do, work.  As you may know, Ms. Moore is 48; Ashton Kutcher, the new star of Two and a Half Men, is only 33.  They have been married for 6 years.  So, no matter what happens between them now, don't you agree that this case shows that such marriages can work?  Put another way, does age really matter?  Do May-December romances really work?  What is your opinion?

Okay, now I must put back on my divorce attorney hat and commence steppin' on alligator heads again!

Celebrity Separations and Divorces: Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston

[Photo from wikipedia]

Why do some celebrities have to open their mouths and bash their exes?  If you believe actor Brad Pitt, he opened his mouth this week, during an interview for this Sunday's Parade magazine, but he didn't intend to bash his ex, actress Jennifer Aniston. 

Of course, Pitt and Aniston were married from 2000 until 2005, when he met his new (and current) girl friend, Angelina Jolie, on the movie set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith.  (It is also important to point out that Pitt and Jolie have denied they committed adultery before Pitt and Aniston were divorced).

But you read the interview and decide for yourself about Pitt's comments and whether or not they were directed, in any way, at Aniston.  According to various news reports, during the interview, among other things, Pitt described his life, while he was married to Aniston, as dull and "pathetic."

Since the interview, Pitt has tried to make amends, by complimenting Aniston, and by emphasizing that he was only talking about his own life and career, and not about his marriage or about Aniston.

Who knows?  Maybe, Pitt's explanation is correct.  Maybe he wasn't bashing Aniston.  But maybe this incident also illustrates that celebrities, just like regular folks, should simply not open their mouths and say anything which could ever be construed as negative about their exes!  And this rule is especially true if the party was once married to, and then divorced, "America's Sweetheart!"

Don't you agree?

Celebrity Separations and Divorces: Eva Longoria and Tony Parker

[Photo from wikipedia]

Sometimes, celebrities must try to answer some really dumb questions from the media!  If you were asked, like actress Eva Longoria, following a recent divorce, whether you would ever marry again, what would be your answer?

According to various news reports, Ms. Longoria gave a pretty good response to this question, in my opinion.  She basically said that she has not given it a lot of thought and that no woman, after recently getting a divorce, could really give a truthful answer!

Don't you agree that this is a fair response?  After all, Ms. Longoria's divorce from basketball star Tony Parker was just finalized earlier this year.  And while we all can probably safely predict that the Desperate Housewives star will not be desperate to re-marry any time soon, it is equally true that no one, including her, (or you, if you have recently gone through a dvorce), knows what the future may hold.

So, that is why, in my opinion, as an Augusta, Georgia divorce attorney, Ms. Longoria gave a truthful response to a dumb question!

Divorce, Anger Management, and Driving Cars Through Courthouses

Have you ever gotten so angry that you have completely lost control of your temper and every shred of your common sense?  Divorce can apparently do that to some people. 

According to news reports, a South Georgia bailiff, reportedly angry about a recent divorce, got so angry that he attempted to drive his Mercedes through a courthouse entrance.  Fortunately, a brick planter stopped his futile effort.  But unfortunately, the poor man now reportedly faces criminal charges, in addition to whatever problems got him so upset about his divorce.

As Augusta, Georgia divorce lawyers, we see it all.  We often see folks who maintain an incredible calmness, even while their angry, worthless spouses harass and bedevil them.  But we also sometimes see people get as mad as wet hens when they are wronged by their spouses, or exes.  And we also sometimes see people held in contempt of court because of their anger management issues.  The point is that you should get control, and get help, but not get even.

Another related point is that, if you are going through a divorce, you should never let your temper get you into trouble.  Then, you still have your original problems, plus, like this poor South Georgia man, you also have your new problems, too!  And that may include having to get your Mercedes fixed, too!

Celebrity Separations and Child Custody and Visitation Issues: Halle Berry

[Photo from wikipedia]

An interesting issue involving child visitation was illustrated in a news story reported by TMZ this week.  According to TMZ and other news sources, Academy Award-winning actress Halle Berry was back in court this week with her lawyers to settle a child visitation issue with model Gabriel Aubry, her former lover and the father of their three year old child.  The issue reportedly involved how much visitation Mr. Aubry can have with their child while Ms. Berry is away filming movies. 

Although you may not be a movie star, a similar issue can arise following your separation or divorce, too.  For instance, if you have primary physical custody, but you have a job which sometimes takes you out of town, your ex may seek additional visitation rights.  In other words, your ex may seek, in a divorce modification action, additional child visitation rights, (or may even seek a change as to child custody).  Generally, your ex's argument will be that having the child stay with a parent, (while you are away), is preferable to the child staying with other relatives or in daycare.

Of course, every family law case is different.  In short, if this issue arises in your case, you should consult with your divorce lawyer as soon as possible.  According to TMZ, Ms. Berry reportedly came out of this hearing pretty good, and you may come out okay, too!

Rumors of Celebrity Separations and Divorce: Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith

[Photo from wikipedia]

I am a big fan of actor Will Smith.  While I wasn't crazy about his television series, Fresh Prince of Belair, I have really enjoyed several of his fantastic movies, including Men in Black and I Am Legend.  So, I really hated to hear and read the reported Hollywood gossip about alleged problems in his 13 year marriage to fine actress Jada Pinkett Smith.  I also hate it that, whether or not any of the rumors are true, the Hollywood press probably won't leave the couple alone.

We have discussed in this divorce blog before about all the stressors placed by Hollywood and by acting careers on celebrity marriages.  Look, celebrity couples can have marital problems just like everyone else.  And it may be true that many celebrity marriages do end in separation and divorce.  But not all celebrity marriages end in separation or divorce.  And it is equally true that it is a shame that Hollywood couples generally find it much more difficult than most other couples to address any potential issues in private.

Here's hoping that this fine acting couple will find some peace and happiness!  What do you think?  Don't you agree that, generally, the media spotlight could exacerbate any potential marital problems?

Filing For Divorce First: Does It Really Matter?

[Photo from hope-church.tv]

In this blog about divorce in Georgia, we enjoy discussing issues which arise in celebrity divorces.  We also include posts about movies dealing with divorce and even a few divorce jokes of the day!  But we also enjoy including some practical divorce tips and information for you to discuss with your own divorce attorney.  Today, we address the question of whether or not it matters who files for divorce first.

So, you have finally decided to divorce your worthless spouse, "Sluggo!" Now, you wonder -- does it really matter who files for divorce first?  In other words, should you be concerned about racing Sluggo to the courthouse?

As an Augusta, Georgia divorce attorney, I can tell you that, generally, it does not matter who files for a divorce first.  In other words, even if Sluggo files a divorce complaint and gets your served first, you and your divorce lawyer will still be able to file an answer and counterclaim, and set forth all your facts and legal arguments.

That being said, as a divorce attorney, I have also seen some circumstances in which filing first may provide some advantage.  For instance, if you are concerned about your spouse moving away, then you should discuss with your divorce lawyer the importance of getting him or her served before they leave the area.

Also, in some cases, I have seen some psychological advantage in the idea of "going first" and getting Sluggo served first.  In other words, in some cases, if Sluggo is a control freak and believes that he can control how and when you get a divorce, then there might be some advantage in taking away the control and having a deputy put divorce documents in his hands!

So, in the final analysis, in most divorce cases, it may not matter who gets to the courthouse first.  However, in some divorce cases, there might be some advantage in filing first for a divorce and "making Sluggo's day!" Of course, every divorce is different and we recommend that you discuss all your rights and options with your own divorce attorney!   

Is It Really "Your Thing?" Or Can You Really Cheat Or "Do What You Wanna Do" Before Your Divorce Is Final?

[Photo from users.rowan.edu]

Do you remember the classic 1960's song, "It's Your Thing," by the Isley Brothers?  If so, then you will recall that the song's lyrics essentially suggest that, because it's "your thing," then you can "do what you wanna do" and "sock it" to whomever you want and, presumably, whenever you want!

But is this song really true in all situations?  More particularly, is it really "your thing," during a divorce, and can you "sock it" to whomever you want, and whenever you want, even before your divorce is final?  In other words, is it okay to cheat, or commit adultery, even before the ink on your divorce decree is dry?

As divorce lawyers in Augusta, Georgia, in our opinion, our plain, simple answer to this important question is "NO!"  It is NOT okay!  In other words, generally speaking, (and from a legal standpoint), in a Georgia divorce, it is NOT okay to cheat, or date, or commit adultery, or run around, or do "your thing" until after your divorce is final!  There are too many potential ramifications and too many potential adverse consequences, of cheating, to discuss here.  Be sure to consult with your own divorce attorney.  But a couple of examples should suffice.  

For instance, proof of cheating, even long after the separation, might tend to support your spouse's claim that adultery also occurred before the separation.  In addition, if you are out partying and "running around" while the divorce is pending, it could potentially have an impact on the issue of which party would make the best custodial parent in a child custody battle.  Again, talk with your own divorce lawyer about this issue!

Look, as divorce attorneys, we realize that you are, in reality, going to "do what you wanna do."  But our job, as divorce lawyers, is not to slap you on the back and approve everything you "wanna do."  Our role is to provide information and sound advice, even if it is not what you want to hear.

Can you imagine my surprise when I recently read another divorce lawyer's blog in which that divorce attorney essentially suggested that it is okay to cheat during a divorce?!  Actually, the lawyer basically suggested that it is okay to cheat before your divorce is final, but just don't get caught! 

Well, you won't hear that same advice, or opinion, at the Goolsby Law Firm, LLC!  As you know, we are divorce lawyers in Augusta, Georgia -- in the heart of the Bible Belt.  Maybe things are handled differently in divorce cases in other places.  And maybe it is okay to do "your thing" in other jurisdictions. 

But in Georgia, if you are going through a divorce, again, you should discuss the potential impact of adultery on your divorce with your own divorce lawyer.  And, if you ask us, from a legal standpoint, while it may be "your thing," you shouldn't "do what you wanna do," until after the divorce is final. 

Divorce, Divorce Costs, and the "Good Old Days!"

[Photo from geenvillecountyva.gov]

Let's face it.  Not everything was good about the "good old days!"  But some things about getting a divorce were arguably better "way back when" than they are today.  Frankly, in my opinion, as an Augusta, Georgia divorce lawyer, we all should take a few lessons from our grandparents about how lawsuits were handled "back in the day!"  

Here are just a couple of examples of how we could improve divorce procedures. I got some of these ideas from a conversation I recently had with a kind, elderly gentleman who got a divorce over 65 years ago!

1. REDUCE THE AMOUNT OF DIVORCE PAPERWORK: 

The increase in the amount and number of court documents and paperwork was one of the things I discussed with this elderly gentleman.  Ideally, in my opinion, we should reduce the amount of paperwork in Georgia divorces.  For example, this kind, elderly gentleman told me that, when he got a divorce back in the 1940's, the judge signed a divorce decree which consisted of only one page!  Isn't that remarkable?  As a Georgia divorce attorney, I fully recognize that we cannot (and should not) eliminate all divorce documents which are part of a typical modern divorce, including parenting plans, child support worksheets, and the child support addenda.  Some change is good.  But it would also be nice if some of the tangential divorce documents and forms could be streamlined, or eliminated.

2.  REDUCE THE COSTS OF A GEORGIA DIVORCE:

Additionally, it would be nice if the costs of a Georgia divorce could be reduced.  The elderly gentleman told me that, when he got a divorce 65 years ago, it cost only $35.00!  Isn't that incredible?  Now, we all know that $35.00 was still a substantial amount back then, but the costs of going to court have easily out-stripped inflation.  One way to reduce the costs of a divorce would be for the Georgia General Assembly to reduce the amount of the court filing fee.  Last year, (as I have complained about before in this blog), our legislature increased the filing fee for all civil lawsuits, including divorces, from $80.00 to a whopping $205.00!  In my opinion, this filing fee increase was outrageous and unfair to Georgians who can no longer afford justice in this state.

What do you think?  Were the "good old days" really all that good?  What changes would you recommend?

A Divorce Lawyer's Take on "Do It Yourself Divorce" Kits

[Photo from apartmenttherapy.com]

Everybody is into DIY (do-it-yourself) projects these days!  I love to refinish antique furniture!  But please let me explain why I believe DIY kits may not be the best way to go when you get a divorce in Georgia.

Okay, I realize that before I offer this critique of  DIY divorces and divorce kits, some of you may think it is just sour grapes offered by a greedy divorce attorney!  In other words, you may think I am just another divorce lawyer who doesn't appreciate the competition!  But please believe me that that is not the case!  I simply do not recommend that anyone should attempt to handle such an important, complicated legal matter without help from a professional.

For instance, in many divorce cases, both contested and uncontested divorces, there are generally a number of relatively complicated issues, such as child custody and child support.  For example, no kit is likely going to tell you all the proper factors in calculating child support under the Georgia child support guidelines.  Also, there are a number of requirements for a Georgia divorce which, in our experience, the so-called DIY divorce kits typically do not meet or satisfy.  For example, no kit is going to tell you that, in a Columbia County divorce, you will need to submit a properly filled out summons, even in an uncontested divorce.

Finally, there is one additional reason why I believe DIY kits are not the best way to get a divorce in Georgia.  This reason is that there are a number of divorce lawyers, including us, at the Goolsby Law Firm, LLC, who will handle simple, uncontested divorces for an affordable retainer that does not cost a lot more than many of the DIY kits!

So, have I convinced you that a do-it-yourself divorce is not the best way to go?  Save your creativity for your home repair projects! 

Surprising Celebrity Separations and Divorce: Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony

[Photo of Lopez and Anthony from Wikipedia]

Have you seen the latest edition of Vanity Fair?  According to various news reports, talented singer and American Idol Judge Jennifer Lopez explains in Vanity Fair exactly why she and her husband of 7 years, Marc Anthony, recently split up.  Among other reported reasons, Ms. Lopez indicated essentially that she realized she wasn't being treated properly and that she loved herself too much not to walk away.

What is your opinion of these cited reasons for this celebrity split?  Also, have you noticed a trend these days that, after a separation or a divorce, many celebrities ultimately "go public" about the splitup, either in interviews, with celebrity interviewers like Oprah, or in "tell-all" books or magazines?

What do you think about this practice of celebrities "going public," rather than keeping such matters private?  Of course, in their defense, because they are in the public eye, many celebrities probably realize that if they don't tell their side of it, then somebody else will gossip about it, or make up something anyway!  So, perhaps celebrities might as well tell the truth and hope it slows down the rumor mills and "inquiring minds."  What do you think?

IRS Announces New Innocent (Or Injured) Spouse Relief Policy

[Photo from Wikipedia]

We are divorce lawyers, not tax lawyers, in Augusta, Georgia.  However, we wanted to pass along to you, (for you to discuss with your own attorney), some information issued by the I.R.S. this week concerning "innocent spouse relief."  This refers to the fairly common situation in which a divorcing spouse, even after they have gotten a divorce from their worthless spouse, "Sluggo," gets zapped by the I.R.S. for back taxes and penalties on income earned, but not reported, by Sluggo.  According to the policy, in some cases, the I.R.S. will not hold the innocent spouse responsible for Sluggo's problems, provided the innocent spouse did not know, nor could have known, about the tax understatement by their ex.

The problem, in the past, for some innocent spouses, has been that there was a two year time limit in which to seek relief based upon this equitable ground.  But now, thankfully, according to I.R.S. notice 2011-70, the two year time limit may be waived!  You can learn more about this policy change by going to http://www.irs.gov/ or by consulting with a tax professional. 

Again, we are just Augusta, GA divorce attorneys, not tax lawyers!

Shocking Celebrity Separations and Divorces: Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony

[Photo from Wikipedia]

This past week, according to news reports, singer, actress, and American Idol Judge, Jennifer Lopez, and her husband, singer Marc Anthony, have reportedly separated.  Lopez and Anthony, who have been married for seven years, have two children.

Did you know about the amazing charitable work done by Ms. Lopez?  For instance, she is noted for her fine work on behalf of the Children's Hospital Los Angeles.

Hollywood has apparently taken its toll again on another celebrity marriage.  Here's hoping that Ms. Lopez and Mr. Anthony will find happiness again.

Divorce, Family Violence, and Bobbitizing It

Family, or domestic, violence is a real problem in this country.  Far too many women, (and some men), suffer immeasurably at the hands of abusive spouses.  As a result, in my opinion, getting a divorce should not be so costly, or difficult, that a spousal abuse victim will feel forced to take the law into their own hands.    

For instance, do you recall the strange 1993 case of John and Lorena Bobbitt?  According to reports, Ms. Bobbitt, after allegedly suffering for years as a victim of abuse and adultery, struck back by cutting off Mr. Bobbitt's penis, which was later re-attached by surgeons.  As you will recall, Lorena Bobbitt was prosecuted, but later obtained a verdict of not guilty by reason of insanity.  The couple subsequently divorced.

Now, this week, according to news reports, another woman, Ms. Catherine Kieu, of Garden Grove, California, has been charged with torture and aggravated mayhem, after allegedly tying down her estranged husband in a bed and cutting off his member with a kitchen knife.  Unlike Ms. Bobbitt, who merely threw away the detached member, which was recovered and re-attached, Ms. Kieu allegedly tossed her spouse's penis down the garbage disposal and flipped the switch.  The news reports are unclear as to what, if anything, could be re-attached.

Again, these cases illustrate some of the problems of family violence.  Such cases also demonstrate that further violence, or going to prison, is not the answer.  Seeing a divorce lawyer and getting a divorce is a better solution.  Don't you agree?  What is your opinion?

GPS Devices and Tracking a Spouse To Prove Adultery

[Photo from shop.geocaching.com]

Do you suspect that your worthless spouse, "Sluggo," is cheating on you?  But are you unsure how to prove his adultery, or infidelity?  Well, did you hear the news this week out of New Jersey?  According to various news reports, a New Jersey court held this week that a divorcing party who hired a private investigator who helped her prove her spouse's adultery, by placing a GPS tracking device in her alleged cheating spouse's car, did not violate the alleged cheater's privacy rights.

Of course, as Augusta, Georgia divorce attorneys, we strongly recommend that you consult with your own divorce lawyer concerning all your rights and options BEFORE you attempt to prove adultery in this manner!  Privacy and search and seizure laws vary from state to state.  Additionally, as we have also discussed before in this divorce blog, you could get into trouble if you try some questionable tactics.  For example, we have discussed before the trouble which people can get into for hacking into their spouse's emails.

The bottom line:  As television host Nick Cannon warns on America's Got Talent, "PLEASE DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!"  More specifically, do not try any method of proving Sluggo's infidelity without first consulting with your divorce lawyer about it!

Favorite Movies About Divorce: Just Go With It

[Photo from Wikipedia]

Just Go With It is one of my new favorite movies about divorce.  The movie stars Adam Sandler, as a plastic surgeon, who pretends to be going through a divorce, in order to attract a young woman. The movie also stars Jennifer Aniston, who, along with her kids, is enticed by Sandler's character to help him convince the young girl friend that the divorce is amicable.  Aniston's character, a single mom, has already been through a divorce.

Trust me!  "Just go with it" and give this hilarious, well-acted movie a try!

How Much Do Uncontested Divorces Cost in Georgia?

Okay, maybe it is time that I got back up on my soapbox to protest, once again, the Georgia General Assembly's increase last year in the amount for filing for a divorce in this state.  (This terrible filing fee increase also applied to filing other types of civil lawsuits, too).  Specifically, the increase in the divorce case court filing fee jumped from $80.00 to a whopping $205.00!  Isn't that awful?

As Augusta, Georgia divorce attorneys, we try very hard to help our divorcing clients through a difficult time.  We have also helped many people, as divorce lawyers, by working hard to keep our legal fees affordable.  But we cannot change or help with the filing fees!  This significant increase in the court costs for a divorce has made it even more difficult for many Georgians seeking one.  Wouldn't it also be a terrible injustice if an abused wife must stay married, (and continue to get abused), simply because she cannot afford to get a divorce?  It happens!

Something must be done to correct this injustice!  Until that day comes, you can count on me to continue to climb back up on my soapbox to protest here!

Celebrity Divorces and Deaths: Peter Falk

[Photo from dailymail.co.uk]

According to various news reports, one of my favorite t.v. actors, Peter Falk, passed away yesterday at his California home.  According to reports, Falk, 83, had suffered from dementia and Alzheimer's disease.  Although he also was a star of screen and stage, Falk will always be best known for his incredible portrayal of "Columbo," the rumpled, one-eyed police detective.  The popular detective television series lasted from 1971-1978; however, Falk also appeared in numerous t.v. specials as Columbo through 2003.  Did you know that the talented actor was also an accomplished artist?

As Detective Columbo would conclude, "Just one more thing."  Like many celebrities, Mr. Falk also experienced a divorce, back in 1976.  But that's enough about that topic, here, today.  Today, I primarily want to just salute the outstanding work and the life of a talented actor.

Fathers and Child Support Obligations

[Photo from mtephraimschools.org]

As Augusta, Georgia divorce lawyers, we often help our clients address issues involving child support, including contempt and child support modification actions.  After all, not all fathers pay child support like they should.  But as we approach Father's Day, perhaps it is important to recognize that most dads "out there," following a divorce, actually support their children, as they should, financially and otherwise.  The "deadbeat dads" exist, but, fortunately, they are in a minority. 

Indeed, according to one source, http://fathersrights.org/, 79.1% of fathers having limited visitation rights pay their court-ordered child support and 44.5% of those fathers having no visitation rights at all nonetheless still pay child support.

Of course, no one is suggesting that, simply because they pay child support, those fathers, (or any non-custodial parents), deserve any special reward.  After all, those dads helped bring these kids into the world, too, and it is their legal and moral obligation to help support their children.  Also, I'll bet that most of us would agree that the true "deadbeat dads" should be severely sanctioned.  But sometimes, I believe it is also important to keep things in perspective, including the point that most non-custodial parents "out there" are, in fact, supporting their kids and doing the right thing!   What do you think?